Balancing the Masculine and Feminine Within: My Journey to Rest, Joy,

This past year, I’ve had a quiet but profound realization: I’ve been neglecting my self-care in ways that aren’t just about skipping a bath or forgetting a face mask. It runs deeper than that. It’s about the energy I’ve been living in — an almost constant masculine, go-go-go, grind-until-you-drop kind of energy — and how little I’ve been nurturing the softer, more restorative side of myself.

The wake-up call came in an unexpected moment.

My partner left for a weekend work trip. As I stood at the doorway watching him leave, I felt two conflicting things at once: relief… and jealousy.

Relief, because for the next few days, there would be no one else I needed to think about, care for, or accommodate except myself. The air in the house suddenly felt spacious. The silence, comforting. My time was entirely my own — and I could feel my shoulders drop.

But then came the jealousy. He was traveling, having experiences, making memories (even if for work), while I was home feeling… depleted. Not because I didn’t want him to go or because I resented him, but because I couldn’t remember the last time I had done something that felt joyful and soul-nourishing.

And then, the guilt crept in.
"I shouldn’t feel this way," I told myself. "This is my life partner. I love him. I want him to be happy and successful."
But I knew, deep down, that these feelings weren’t really about him at all. They were about me — about the state of my own energy, my boundaries, and how I show up for myself.

The Masculine Energy Trap

For much of my life — and especially this past year — I’ve been operating in a very masculine mode. In energy terms, that means constantly striving, pushing, building, and achieving. Masculine energy is active, directive, and future-focused. It’s about making things happen.

And it’s powerful.
It has given me ambition, direction, and the ability to run a business and navigate challenges. But there’s a cost. When I stay in that mode too long, I start to feel brittle, disconnected from my creativity, and starved for the softer moments that make life feel abundant.

It’s no surprise that much of the energy surrounding men — especially ambitious, driven men — carries this go-go-go, grind-never-stops frequency. When you live closely with someone who operates in that mode, it’s easy to get pulled into it. I’ve noticed that my days become a reflection of their pace. Even in my personal life, I’ve been moving fast, pushing forward, constantly “doing.”

The feminine — the energy of rest, receptivity, pleasure, and presence — has been taking a backseat.

Understanding Feminine Energy

When I say “feminine energy,” I’m not talking about gender roles or stereotypes. I’m talking about an energy that exists in everyone — the part of us that knows how to slow down, how to be rather than always do. It’s the part that allows beauty, joy, and intuition to guide us.

The feminine thrives in stillness. She delights in the sensory — in the feeling of sun on your skin, in the smell of freshly brewed tea, in laughter that bubbles up from nowhere. She doesn’t rush; she receives. She creates from overflow, not depletion.

Masculine energy says: Go build something.
Feminine energy says: Sit here, breathe, and feel the sun.

The healthiest version of ourselves can tap into both. But in our culture, masculine energy is often rewarded and celebrated, while feminine energy is treated as optional or even lazy. That’s why so many of us — especially women running businesses, raising families, or managing busy lives — end up running ourselves into the ground.

My Imbalance Became My Normal

I didn’t notice the imbalance right away because it felt “productive.” I was accomplishing things, checking tasks off my list, and moving forward. But over time, the signs piled up:

I was tired, even after a full night’s sleep.
I was restless, craving something I couldn’t quite name.
My creativity felt forced rather than flowing.
I felt a low-grade resentment toward my schedule — like my life had become a checklist instead of an experience.

I didn’t just need a nap. I needed a lifestyle shift.

Rest Isn’t a Reward — It’s a Necessity

That weekend without my partner was like removing background noise. Suddenly, I could hear my own thoughts more clearly. And what I heard was this: You don’t rest enough.

For most of my life, I treated rest like a reward you earn after you’ve done enough. But the truth is, rest isn’t something you “deserve” after proving your worth — it’s something your body and mind require in order to function.

And there are different kinds of rest:

Physical rest — sleeping, stretching, moving slowly.
Mental rest — stepping away from problem-solving or information overload.
Sensory rest — reducing noise, screens, and stimulation.
Emotional rest — spending time with people who don’t drain you.

I realized I was skipping all of them.

The Role of Joy in Energy Balance

Rest alone won’t restore you if your life is missing joy. I could sleep in for three days straight and still feel empty if I’m not feeding my spirit.

Joy is an energy source — one that works alongside rest to keep us inspired. Without joy, life feels mechanical. We start living on autopilot, moving from one obligation to the next without savoring anything.

For me, joy looks like:

Traveling, even if it’s just a short trip somewhere beautiful.
Taking classes or workshops that spark curiosity.
Spending time outdoors without an agenda.
Enjoying activities that engage my senses — cooking something new, exploring a farmer’s market, visiting an art exhibit.

Why Balancing Energy Helps Everyone Around You

At first, I thought this was about my own well-being. But the more I sit with it, the more I see that when I’m balanced — when I’m not running myself into the ground — I’m actually a better partner, friend, and creative.

If my own cup is empty, my interactions start to feel transactional. I’m giving from a place of obligation, not genuine overflow. But when I’ve taken time to nourish myself, my energy is magnetic. I have more patience, more creativity, more presence. And that benefits everyone around me.

Taking time to rest and recharge is actually a service to others — because it allows the best parts of me to show up fully.

My Personal Practices for Balance

I’ve started experimenting with ways to invite more feminine energy into my daily life. Some practices I’m exploring:

Morning rituals — doing something pleasurable before work, like stretching in sunlight, journaling, or savoring my coffee slowly.
Weekly “joy appointments” — an activity purely for pleasure, with no productivity attached.
Sensory grounding — taking a few minutes each day to notice what I can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.
Clear boundaries — saying no when my schedule tips toward burnout.

This isn’t about rejecting masculine energy. It’s about balance. I still love building, creating, and achieving. But I want to be intentional about when I’m in that mode — and equally intentional about when I’m in rest and receive mode.

Masculine and Feminine in Relationships

This journey has also changed how I view relationships. It’s easy for one person’s dominant energy to influence the other’s. When my partner is deep in masculine mode — traveling, making decisions, moving fast — I can unconsciously match that pace. But if I stay there too long, I lose my own center.

Healthy relationships benefit when both people honor their own balance. Sometimes that means:

Taking separate time for self-care without guilt.
Communicating openly about energy needs.
Supporting each other in slowing down or stepping up as needed.

It’s not about being opposites all the time — it’s about creating a shared rhythm that feels sustainable.

Creating Your Own Energy Balance Plan

If you’re reading this and realizing you’ve been living in one mode for too long, here’s a simple framework I’m using:

Check in weekly: Ask yourself, “Do I feel energized or drained?”
Identify which energy you’ve been in most: masculine (doing, achieving) or feminine (resting, receiving).
Adjust your week accordingly: If you’ve been in heavy masculine, plan intentional feminine activities — and vice versa.
Schedule joy and rest like meetings: If it’s not on the calendar, it’s too easy to skip.
Protect your energy boundaries: If something feels draining, say no without overexplaining.

A Final Reflection

That weekend alone was a mirror. It reflected back to me how out of balance I’d become and how deeply I need to honor both sides of myself. The masculine energy in me can build empires — but without the feminine, there’s no softness to live in those empires. No beauty, no joy, no space to breathe.

I’m learning that the most sustainable life isn’t one that’s all hustle or all ease. It’s a dance between the two — a rhythm where effort and rest, doing and being, strength and softness, all get their turn.

And now, as I step into this new season of my life, I’m committed to making sure that dance stays in balance.

Because I can’t fill anyone else’s cup if I’m not filling mine.

Warmly,

Your Production Assistant

Olivia Pea

Balancing the Masculine and Feminine Within: My Journey to Rest, Joy, and Reconnection